What is my calling?
This is a question I have wrestled with for a really long time, and I am sure at one point in your life, you have too. I came into my freshman year of college with an elementary education major. I knew I would be a good teacher, especially after doing an internship at an elementary school my senior year of high school. I loved the kids, I loved the school atmosphere, and I loved the idea of having a daily routine.
Although I knew I would be a good teacher, I lost my desire to be a teacher once I got to Taylor. I realized I am interested and skilled in other areas in my life, and I hadn’t explored other options than teaching. I stressed and worried and felt so discouraged. I thought there was something wrong with me for not knowing my calling. I thought I should have everything planned out by now, and I became so fearful that I had lost touch with God. I started to ask for advice from my family and friends. I so badly just wanted someone to tell me what to do, or have an “aha” moment from God. I asked God for clarity, but still felt lost. I imagined God shaking his head at me in disappointment.
Then, someone directed me to the Calling and Career Office, a place that I then knew nothing about but I now find so much joy in. I set up an appointment with Amber Stanley through Handshake (check this app out!) which helped tremendously. Amber is a woman I believe everyone needs to know, and she spoke to me with grace and freedom. I told her where my heart was and how lost I felt. She encouraged me to dive deeper into my interests and skills that gave me joy. My eyes were opened to a whole new meaning of calling. God’s calling for each individual may not be a specific career. It may be a series of different jobs that have multiple callings within them. I used to imagine my calling on top of a mountain and I had to climb and work and earn that calling, and if I didn’t reach it, I would fail. What I have learned, though, is that my calling every day is to live this precious life for our Savior, growing closer to our Caller, not our calling. I am called to love Him and love others today. I am called to serve the needy, love my enemies, and encourage those around me who feel lost. I am called to a relationship with Christ. I am called every single day to live in freedom because He died on the cross for me. When I keep my eyes on these daily callings, God will lead me to my ultimate “calling” as well as lead me to Him.
Once I realized these things, I felt a heavy weight stripped away from my heart. I recognized my love for helping others, specifically through one on one conversation. I ended up switching my major to psychology, after considering literally every major Taylor has to offer, in hopes to pursue a career in school counseling. I am not saying that I know this is my calling, but it is something I feel at peace about right now. My heart may change, and that is okay. As of now, my calling is to enjoy what I am learning in this new major and connect with others along the way. God may take me along a completely different route than counseling, but I am no longer fearful of the unknown for my future. In no ways am I perfect. I definitely had a period of time during quarantine where I thought about going back to education, then considered applying for a school in California, and even went on a tour for a beauty school in my hometown. I look back and laugh at myself. I was confused and curious, but always knew in my heart that Taylor is the best place for me to be right now.
I look back on this wild journey and am filled with a thankful heart. If it weren't for this time of uncertainty, I would have never gotten connected to the Calling and Career Office and gotten a job here. It has been a joy-filled place to be, and I already know the people I work with will have an impact on me forever. I see God’s purpose for my struggle now. I definitely did not see it at the time, but I see so clearly now. Never hesitate to reach out to the Calling and Career Office. You will truly be blessed.
With joy,
Kacy Bragg
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